Expectations

The second in our series on marriage was Godly expectations. We all enter our marriage with expectations, we expect things will always be great and our spouses will always meet all of our needs. It usually doesn't take to long for reality to set in. Life is complicated, people are sinners, and each of us have struggles that we have to face. One thing that I think would serve our marriages well is to remember that not only do we have expectations for our marriage, but God does too. His expectations for marriage come directly from Ephesians 5:22-33. In those verses God lays out for wives that he expects them to be submissive and for husbands that he expects them to love sacrificially. We spoke in class about how true submission isn't demeaning, its actually freeing. It is not something that women do to men, but wives do to their husbands. It also isn't something that women do FOR men, but out of service to God. In class I gave 5 tips that women could institute if they truly wanted to bless their husbands. I didn't come up with these, they actually come from Danny Akin in one of his many marital seminars. I don't think he will mind if I share them with you here however.

1. Wives if you want to bless your husband, give him honor and respect. It is his greatest need and your best way to help him become all that he can become. The best way for you to show your husband respect, is to tell him you are proud of him.
2. Wives should provide sexual fulfillment. Telling him he is great is nice, sometimes showing him is better.
3. Cultivate home support. Create an atmosphere at home that is safe and rejuvenating.
4. Strive to be attractive both inside and out. Don't save your best for other people, share that with your husband.
5. Finally, become his best friend. Learn to do things that he enjoys so that he doesn't always see others as fun and you as a drag. Learn to share experiences together.

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. That means for a husband to love his wife properly, he must love her sacrificially. Guy's its not all about you, in fact its not about you at all. A marriage isn't 50-50, its each of you giving 100% to the other. Danny Akin listed 7 things that a man can do if he wants to love his wife, here is that list.

1. Be a spiritual leader. Be a man of character, commitment, and compassion. Be a student of the word and lead her along.
2. Give her personal affirmation. Not only in private but in public, make her feel like she is the most special woman in the world.
3. Show her personal affection in the form of romance. Don't let the flowers, cards and letters stop once you say "I do".
4. Initiate intimate conversation. Talk with her on a heart level. Listen to what she says and learn to communicate in a way that she understands.
5. Be honest and open. Look your wife in the eye, tell her the truth and never give her a reason to doubt you.
6. Provide home and stability. Be responsible in the area of providing for the family.
7. Finally demonstrate your family commitment. After Jesus, put your wife first. Don't play the fools game of working long hours trying to get ahead and loose your family in the process.

Marriage is about sacrifice. Husbands and wives together sacrificing themselves for each other. That is what God expects of us and what we should expect of each other. Once realistic expectations are put in place, realistic outcomes become possible to achieve.