Communication

I was recently reading one of my favorite magazines (Outside) and I ran across an article about Dean Karnazes. Dean is an ultra-marathoner and in the article he talked about a recent experience he had while running in the 621 mile Four Desert Challenge. He said he was on day four of running across the Sahara when he became dangerously dehydrated. His ears started ringing, his head started spinning and he had no choice but to sit down in the sand, completely by himself and figure a way out of the mess he was in. What would he do? "Be in the moment, don't think about what you have to do next, just take one step at a time. There's magic in misery". Magic in misery? If there is magic in misery then I bet there are lots of people out there who would say their marriages are Disneyland! Many people struggle through their marriages only loosely connected to the ones they love and that's a shame. One of the best things you can do for your marriage is become a champion communicator. Here are 7 ways that you can become the kind of communicator that would change the course of your marriage.

1. Learn to listen. Let your spouse know that you are a safe person for them to talk to then prove it by paying attention. Don't always be so anxious to "fix" the problem, they often already have the solution, they just need you to hear them.
2. If you see that your spouse has a problem with something, ask about it. They are your business. Don't be so afraid of their reaction that you miss an opportunity to help.
3. Learn how to walk. Leave behind the cell phones, the facebook and the distractions and just share some time together.
4. Turn off the T.V. There is only so long two people can sit together in silence before one person starts to talk. Take advantage of that time together.
5. Don't discuss important issues in bed before you fall asleep. Fatigue will make you say things you might regret later.
6. Never agree to anything without checking with your spouse 1st. It might make you feel silly at first, but it will communicate to your spouse that you esteem them more highly than anyone else.
7. Finally, attend worship and join a bible study together. The topics raised during worship and bible study are a great jumping off points to real meaningful conversations.

In many, many ways, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. My hope is that you take these 7 keys and figure out which one(s) opens the door to your partners heart.